How to Overcome Late Night Cravings

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How to overcome late night cravings, the topic of the day. For days.

But, ohhh the cravings though! The need for a yummy snack at ten PM and then . . . the disappointment the next morning when you step on the scale.

And the vow that last night was the last night.

Again.

How to overcome late night cravings — Photo by Edward Franklin

Why on earth do you keep going around and around, and around . . . ?

Because, emotional eating and stress eating are all about weakness, not logic or strength.

So let’s figure out how to build the foundation to a strong fortress of saying no.

I CAN TELL YOU HOW TO OVERCOME LATE NIGHT CRAVINGS BUT YOU HAVE TO DO IT YOURSELF.

RECOGNIZE YOUR EMOTIONS

Once you understand that late night cravings really are just emotions nagging at you, not true hunger, recognizing this is step one.

Emotional eating is using food to make yourself feel better. You are eating to placate emotional needs rather than to satisfy actual real hunger.

Emotional hunger can’t be filled with food. It feels good to eat in the moment, but the feelings that triggered your need to feed your face are still there. The worst part is, you make yourself feel even worse later, because you now feel guilty. It’s a vicious, vicious cycle that only you can stop.

There is a difference in using food occasionally as a reward, or to celebrate. That isn’t bad. When my kids get good grades, sometimes I take them out for vegan ice cream or a rare treat as a reward.

When eating becomes an emotional coping mechanism this is when it is a problem.

Once you recognize that you are eating simply to cope with stress, you can then take step two.

I recommend talking with your doctor and finding a good counselor to help sort out your emotions, if you are unable to do it alone.

DIG DEEP AND DEAL WITH IT

Journaling is somewhat of an old fashioned hobby I suppose. I used to keep a diary when I was younger. Now, with voice text and even with typing, slowing down with a pen and paper gets a little annoying. Buuuutttt . . .

When you slow down, it forces you to process what you are thinking, and in the process of slowing down, you can really start to assess your feelings and figure out the why behind what you are doing.

It also takes up time you would otherwise be eating.

Face your emotions, sort them out, decide what you want to do with them, and confront them.

Once you have done this, you can go about doing other things to fill the void.

A nutrition coach can also help. A nutrition coach is someone that can hold you accountable, as well as help you start new, healthy habits.

MAYBE IT’S NOT EMOTIONS

There are also cravings that can be linked to bad food choices, food sensitivities and lifestyle habits.

“Some foods promote indefinite cravings. Unfulfilled longings or unrest cause cravings.” Agatha M. Thrash, M.D. Preventive Medicine

Doctor Agatha M. Thrash also goes on to say that, “Many individuals who are sensitive to various foods taken even in small quantities get their cravings aroused.

“Sugar is a very common offender in this regard. One innocent appearing teaspoonful can do much damage in the sensitive person.

“Milk and all dairy products represent a common source of cravings.

“Salty foods irritate the stomach lining and produce thirst. Much of the mechanism of cravings is related to unrecognized thirst, causing the individual to try to satisfy his thirst by indulging his craving. If the thirst is eliminated, the craving can be handled with much greater ease.”

Full article here.

OVERCOME LATE NIGHT CRAVINGS WITH TEA

Now, I realize this sounds a bit trite and boring.

At night when I want something to snack on, and when I am trying to break a habit of grabbing something to nibble on during a show or while doing something before bed, I make tea.

When you fill the void with something it makes it easier to overcome the craving.

The options for flavors are endless when it comes to tea. Which makes it so fun!

Just be sure your tea is white or red, not black or green. Black and green tea have caffeine in them and aren’t good for late nights.

Rooibos is a South African red tea, and it is full of antioxidants and naturally a bit sweet.

Chamomile tea is also a bit sweet and floral, and a great calming, night time tea.

Sleepytime tea is another great evening tea!

Explore herbal, white and red teas and share with me in the comments below. Tell me what your fave herbal tea is!

When you’re making tea at night, leave out the sugar and milk. Learn to appreciate the pure flavor of the herb. Your waist will thank you later and your guilt will be set free.

For other options, read my article “Five Ways to Yummy-Up Your Water”.

WHAT BETTER WAY TO OVERCOME LATE NIGHT CRAVINGS THAN TO READ A GOOD BOOK!

Nope. Snacking during reading can’t be a thing anymore . . . but make you some tea and find a book that draws you in sooo deeply that you can’t even think about food.

Escape from your stress, drown your emotions in far, far away, and allow yourself to fall asleep dreaming in another world.

I would recommend a list of books here, but I write more than read, so I am going to let you list a few for me below in the comments! 🙂

If you prefer to write, like I do, it keeps your hands too busy to eat, and it works as well as reading for those who love to write.

OVERCOME LATE NIGHT CRAVINGS WITH CHORES

I doubt there is a person in the world who does not have a tub that could use a scrub, a carpet that couldn’t use a vacuum or some laundry that needs to be folded or ironed.

Evenings are great times to get some small house chores done and curb the appetite at the same time.

Plus, you’re getting yourself off the couch, burning a few calories, and let’s face it, you can get your heart rate up if you’re vacuuming stairs, and also, who doesn’t love a clean house when you go to fix a bowl of granola at breakfast time? Clean dishes anyone?

OVERCOME LATE NIGHT CRAVINGS WITH BREAKFAST

If you’re truly in it for the long haul, ready to lose weight, gain self control, eat healthy and feel amazing. . .

Begin with breakfast.

With the right foods, you will notice less cravings.

Typical breakfast foods aren’t actually good for you. (Bacon, grits, white biscuits, donuts, pastries, etc.)

Breakfast needs to be filled with unrefined foods and should equal to a third to a half of your food and take for the entire day.

This results in a sense of well being, which will help with emotional eating!

A good breakfast filled with unrefined, low to no added sugar, and complex carbs, also equals better work performance. This “feeds” your emotions positively by fulfilling the need to feel accomplished.

When I say no added sugar I mean it literally. For example, grapefruit, don’t add sugar to it! Cereal, don’t add honey, sugar or any other sweetener. Add banana or fruit if you want more sweetener. Dried fruit is another way to add sweetness without adding extra sugar.

When your morning starts with a fantastic breakfast, you have less desire to over eat later on in the day and less need to eat between your meals. Which of course leads to better weight control, which results in less emotional eating as well.

OVERCOME LATE NIGHT CRAVINGS WITH SLEEP

It’s evening or night time. Go to bed.

As I have mentioned before when talking about weight management and losing weight/belly fat, eating at night adds fuel to your “car” just as you’re about to “park it in the garage.”

These are bad habits that put weight on fast.

I’ve used this scenario before, and I’ll use it again. When you’re about to go on vacation, you pull the car out of the garage and before you leave, what do you do?

You take it to the gas station and fill it up! ALL the way to the top.

Why? Because you don’t want to have to stop any time soon! It is a waste of time. You don’t drive it to the gas station, put $5.00 of gas in, then carry on down the road and do this your entire trip.

Imagine doing this, then arrive at your destination, purely exhausted. Then filing up and parking your car at the hotel.

What kind of logic is this!?

This is what most people do to their bodies. They start off in a hurry, grab a cup of coffee and maybe a pastry or a granola bar and go to work. An hour later, you’re starving but it’s not lunch time. So what do you do? You eat a snack.

This happens all day long until dinner. Then you consume the majority of your calories (or over half of what you should have your entire day) right before bed.

On top of consuming a too big dinner, an hour or two later, late night cravings set in.

This is a very bad habit that adds so much weight to your waist for no good reason.

No matter how much you want to just sit and snack, if it is too tempting, and you know that you’re tired, just go to bed. A good night of sleep on an empty stomach is the best night of sleep you’ll ever have.

MORE RESEROUCES

A healthy lifestyle is all about balance.

Balance8life in motion is simply that.

Balance8life is actively engaging 8 expressions of health to our daily routines for true completion. It will always be in motion, and you will never stay in one place for too long, or the balance will slip away. So don’t get discouraged when you can’t maintain for one day. It is the overall daily routine that makes the balancing act go ’round!

The trick is to learn how to set goals that last. There are steps to setting goals that last, that make all the difference in the world when you are beginning your health journey!

For more on where to start begin your health journey, visit my blog!

And that’s it friends! I love it when the balance8 community shares and invites! Join me on my social media platforms, share my articles and tag me! I am on Facebook, Instagram, E-mail, Twitter, Pinterest and balance8life.

September 16, 2020October 14, 2020

6 Ways to Stay Healthy Naturally

This post may contain affiliate links. Please read our disclaimer for more info.

There are several ways we can stay healthy naturally, and do our best to keep sickness from entering our homes and bodies. Waiting until you think you might be getting sick is not the time to figure out how to keep from getting sick though.

6 in 10 adults in the US have chronic disease. 4 in 10 adults have 2 or more chronic illnesses.

Heart disease, cancer, lung disease, diabetes, kidney disease, stroke and Alzheimer’s disease, are some of the top diseases that are the most common.

The biggest cause of these diseases are lifestyle. Lifestyles that regularly use tobacco, excessive alcohol, poor nutrition and are sedentary, are the lifestyles that can cause the above mentioned diseases.

Lifestyle choices effect our health for good and for bad. To try to avoid getting the common cold, the flu, or even more life threatening diseases it is good to follow a healthy lifestyle of wellness.

This is not to say you will never get sick, but the healthier you live your life, the less likely you will be to catch something, or for it to hang around long, if you do!

“Older adults and people who have severe underlying medical conditions like heart or lung disease or diabetes seem to be at higher risk for developing more serious complications from COVID-19 illness.” Center for Disease and Control and Prevention.

If we take care of our bodies and keep them in great shape, we are living a lifestyle of health, strength and wellness.

HEALTH BEGINS FROM CHILDHOOD

Mental, physical and spiritual health all starts when we’re kids. How we are raised shapes our future.

When we take control of our own health as adults, or even as teens, we can alter our health destiny by changing how we live our lives, and the lifestyle choices that we make.

One of the top lifestyle choices that can alter our wellness and health is our nutrition.

SET YOUR CHILDREN UP FOR SUCCESS

If you have kids, what are you doing to set your own children up for success with a healthy lifestyle?

Are they eating fruits and vegetables or mostly sweet, fast or fried foods? What are they drinking? Have you been able to get them on an eating schedule loaded with a rainbow of colorful fresh foods?

As a server, I have personally witnessed parents sitting down to eat with their children. I’ve seen these parents order junk for their kids, while they sit there and have a salad.

Children can eat salad, too. If their taste buds are used to good, wholesome food from the very beginning, they will love healthy foods.

I’ve got 5 of my own children, and from the first time they ate food until they were in their pre-teens, they never tasted a soda, any kind of meat, any sort of pastry or pre-packaged food. I made everything from scratch, whole grain and vegan, and that is what they ate, and still prefer. (Mostly).

What is the future of your children? As an adult, what habits will they have developed from childhood?

BREAK THE CYCLE

Parents raise their children the way their parents raise them. It is a cycle that goes on for generations and it can be a set up for success or failure, depending on the habits taught and developed from childhood.

I am extremely blessed. I was raised a vegan and I am 40 now and have never once had meat.

I’m very grateful for how my parents raised me. And I remember as a kid, them catching a lot of flak for it, too. It wasn’t easy! Especially in the 80’s. I had juice on my granola because soy milk wasn’t readily available.

I feel lucky though, because I never had to give up anything on my plate or change my diet to lose weight or combat years of health problems.

My mom set me up for success, and because of her and how I was raised, I have never had to deal with excessive weight or health problems.

This is what we do for our children when we set them up with healthy habits starting at babyhood.

As adults, if we were not raised with good habits, and want to be healthy, we have to change our lifestyle habits and it will not be easy.

I know that not everybody knows what to do or where to start to make lifestyle changes. And that is why I am here. I want to be there for you as you start your healthy lifestyle journey!

(See below for beginners guides on how to start your healthy adventure!)

1. STAY HEALTHY NATURALLY WITH WATER

Water cleans us out on the inside. If you leave the inside “unwashed”, the likelihood of getting sick is higher. For best results, drink at least 8-12 glasses of water a day. Not fluids. There is a difference. This needs to be actual water.

Let me just give you a quick example of a few health problems that can be turned around with just 96oz of water in your day: Kidney stones, fatigue, lack of energy, bad breath, poor sleep, urinary tract infection, dry splotchy skin, lackluster hair, sore muscles, muscle cramps, elongated sickness, digestive problems, weight gain, and so many more pain in the butt problems, can be kept at bay simply by drinking plenty of water.

If you think drinking 96oz of water a day is impossible, I’ve got a few tricks for you right here! How to Drink 96oz of Water a Day. And if you don’t like water and can’t stand the taste, here’s a little help with that, too. Five Ways to Yummy-Up Your Water.

I am not a doctor, and of course, as always, if you’re not sure, it never hurts to ask your doctor what he/she advises for your daily water recommendations.

2. STAY HEALTHY NATURALLY WITH HERBS

“Herbs such as milk thistle, bilberry, hawthorn, evening primrose oil, garlic, Siberian ginseng and ginkgo are some of the most powerful food grade items medicine has ever seen. These herbs and others are entirely safe and very effective.” Dr. Agatha Thrash M.D. Preventive Medicine.

For more details on why these herbs are so good and how to use them read her article Designer Foods, Herbs & Disease Prevention

When I was in high school, I lived in a dorm, and for some reason this one particular year, I remember getting sick. A lot. Unusually often. One thing that the dean always made for us girls when we got sick was the shot of death. I hated it, but now, I use it for my kids.

It is a combo of grapefruit juice, fresh cloves of garlic, cayenne pepper, lemon juice, honey, and ginger. You blend this up into a shot, and literally shoot it. It burns, but it will take away a sore throat fast.

I grew up on herbs, they do actually work, and a lot of times, in my past experience, are a lot less invasive than going to a doctor and work even better.

It is important to be well educated when using herbs. I suggest doing a lot more reading on the use of herbs if it is something you want to use more of.

3. STAY HEALTHY NATURALLY WITH NUTRITION

One of the best ways to stay healthy is to eat a lot of fresh foods. Not just when you’re feeling yucky, and not just here and there. This needs to be a daily habit.

The saying prevention is better than cure is one I take seriously. And nutrition is the best way to put that saying into action.

Green, leafy veggies are on the top of my list, which is why I have “Green Drink Sunday” almost every Sunday! Habits like this make green things easy, fun and tasty. Even when my kids have friends over, they all get green smoothies or juice. It’s just how we roll!

Stay away from sugary foods like pastries, candy, ice cream, sodas, sweet tea, etc. (This doesn’t include fruit).

Sugar kills white blood cells which are our disease fighters. Increase fresh foods like citrus fruits, red and green bell peppers, kale, broccoli, kiwi, pineapple, spinach, etc. because they are high in vitamin C and they also help to increase production of white blood cells.

5. STAY HEALTHY NATURALLY WITH SLEEP

Proper sleep is essential to keeping your immune system strong and healthy. As soon as you start having late nights, disrupted sleep schedules, and then over sleeping, you’re creating the perfect playground for viruses to grow.

Getting too much sleep and not enough sleep are equally bad for your body. An adult should get at least 7-9 hours of rest per night.

For more on how to get better sleep, read 8 Steps to Improve Your Quality of Sleep. And, 7 Things That Ruin Your Sleep.

6. STAY HEALTHY NATURALLY WITH WEIGHT CONTROL

I realize this is no quick or easy fix, but it has to be done for healths sake.

Weight control goes hand in hand with exercise, nutrition, and wellness. People that are overweight are more likely to have heart disease, strokes, diabetes, cancer, and depression. These are some of the very same diseases I listed in the beginning of this article.

Excessive weight causes so many problems. Aside from disease, it is hard on your joints, your mental health, and your ability to enjoy life.

I have written articles specifically to help you begin your weight loss journey. They show you how to lose and maintain weight naturally and healthfully. Here are a couple articles for starters: Lose and Maintain Healthy Weight with Carbs and How to Maintain Healthy Weight After Dieting.

Sometimes weight loss is just something you need a little extra help with, alongside your nutrition and exercise program. I highly recommend the PhysIQ System, in combination with the Nrf2. I am a vegan so I myself won’t use the whey protein in the PhysIQ System package, but you can purchase the Fat Burn and Prebiotic separately and replace the protein with the Nrf2 for a complete package!

7. STAY HEALTHY NATURALLY WITH EXERCISE

Getting exercise has to happen. Exercise keeps us younger longer, keeps our weight in check and presents aches and pain. It can also help keeps us healthy from disease, depression, and many other things that nobody should ever have to deal with.

“As exercise is increased, degenerative diseases of all kinds are decreased, life span is extended, various minor infections such as colds are reduced . . .” Agatha M. Thrash, M.D. Preventive Medicine

When you exercise, you’re breathing deeper and this helps to flush out your lungs and helps make you more resistant to respiratory infections. Do this outside and it is a win-win!

Exercise also increases white blood cells. Remember earlier how I said white blood cells are our disease fighters?

Exercise balances out our hormones. Including stress hormones. Stress makes us more susceptible to disease. So exercising brings us to a better, balanced state.

Below are some resources for beginners on how to change your lifestyle to one of wellness and health.

Beginners Guide to Healthy Living

Beginners Guide to Weight Lifting and Gym Life

What is a Vegan

What Matters Most?

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What matters most to you, today, right now?

There are a lot of things that matter to a lot of people right now.

But forget other people, what matters most to you?

what matters most? — Treating your body right never tasted so good! AXIO increases your desire to eat and feel better, provides focus, clarity and energy.

Step down from everything going on around you right now and dig deep. What do you want for your future, for your body, your mind, your health?

I specially want you to try to figure out right now, what is it that actually matters to you today. Get specific. And then try to imagine your future self. Will it still matter?

For me, my health 
has always 
mattered.

I not only like to feel good, but I also like the peace of mind that my good healthy habits provides me. Also, at 40 I can honestly say I feel like 18. I have no health problems, am happy with my weight, and have 5 children with zero health problems as well.

In all honestly, I can say that I can do whatever I want to do without aches, pains, low energy, headaches, fatigue, or lack of motivation.

What matters now, doesn’t matter at all, if you are not healthy enough to make what matters today, your reality tomorrow.

EVALUATE WHAT MATTER MOST

If you decided that your family, your job, your pet, your adventures, sports, hobbies . . . you name it . . . matter most, let’s look at them from another perspective.

Imagine how (insert what matters here) this thing would look in perspective of bad health. What if you were unable to walk without stopping every few seconds to take a breath? Maybe you already struggle with severe fatigue so much so that you can barely drive. What happens when you are too heavy to run and play with your children? What if you have a bad heart and don’t live to see your children get married? If you cannot enjoy your family and your hobbies because your health is bad, what comes first now?

Maybe you aren’t there yet. You might be young, thin, able to drink two gallons of coffee and feel great. Maybe you even go to the gym, but stop by McDonalds on your way home. You could even think that you don’t need to exercise because you’re already thin and feel okay, so why waste your time? (Looks can be deceiving, don’t forget about your heart.)

Whatever it is that you want in life, your health should be at the very top of your list of what matters today. Because if you are not healthy, you cannot function at peak performance. If you cannot function at peak performance, you cannot be your best you for those you care about. You will not be able to handle what matters most, if you do not make your health your priority.

EXCUSES ARE LOUSY JUSTIFICATIONS

“I’d rather enjoy my life and eat whatever I feel like eating.”

“I’m too tired to exercise after a long day of work. I’d rather just go home and relax!”

“One day I’ll do it, I’m just too busy right now.”

“I’ll wait until my kids are grown and then I’ll take care of my health.”

What are your excuses for putting off your health? Do you truly think you are enjoying life when you repeat these excuses to yourself?

If you have used (or do use) any of the above excuses, maybe you are chuckling quietly to yourself right now. Because it sounds familiar.

The excuse mentality 
is all fine and dandy 
until it isn't.

Excuses pile on top of each other like little believable lies that we tell ourselves on a daily basis. I catch myself doing it, too. We are all culprits of excuses. But don’t forget that, until you acknowledge your excuses and see them for what they really are – lies – you won’t really be able to give priority to what really matters today.

Excuses are illusions of the mind and can be changed simply by making the decision to make something different happen.

CHANGE YOUR MENTALITY. CHANGE WHAT MATTERS

The need to do nothing and have it all, mentality is great, in theory, until you dissect it and see what it truly is.

You think you’re doing yourself a favor by doing what you want and eating how you want. It’s fun. It feels good. You’re an adult. There’s nobody

Until you have hit that 200 plus pound mark and find it hard to breathe, bend over and tie your shoes, get in and out of the car, run with your kids, sleep without snoring, etc. Does that really sound like fun? Now you have high blood pressure, heart disease, you hurt everywhere, and have weight issues that are going to take years to set straight.

Sure you can do it, and I believe in you if you are there now! Until you are no longer in this world, it is never too late to make your health matter today.

Nobody intentionally decides to gain weight, have health problems, live half their life in a doctors office, and chug bottles of pills daily. But this is the result of not putting your health first. The result of not making your health what matters to you, today. And this is the result of over half the American citizens today.

It is so sad.

OWN IT

There are natural consequences to every choice we make in life, whether wise or unwise.

If you choose to disrespect your own mental, spiritual and physical health, understand that you cannot blame anybody, but yourself, for the outcome of your decision.

It is time FOR YOU to take control of your health today.

At 40 years old, I am just now at a point where I am seeing the results of my healthy choices. I am beyond grateful for my past healthy decisions. At this phase in my life, I am seeing people suffering from not making their health matter today. I know people my age that are suffering with life-threatening disease. As a result of their poor choices, they have lost their ability to work (and play) at peak performance.

People are throwing away half their life 
by not making their health 
matter today.

Don’t allow another day to go by where you are another victim of this way of living. Own your body, respect it and take care of it!

GET UNCOMFORTABLE

I don’t care if you are 16 or 61, ~ if you want to change your life and make better choices, your health should matter today! It is time to make a change.

The number one thing you have to face is change. Change can be
uncomfortable.

But what would you rather have? The discomfort of making a couple changes for the better? Or the discomfort of your body crying out by way of aching joints, tooth decay, headaches, too much weight, disease, etc.?

MY PURPOSE

My purpose in writing this is to bring you to awareness of how important your health is and why it should matter. I want to help you begin your health journey and your lifestyle change.

I know that it isn’t easy, but keep in mind that nothing good ever came easy.

ENJOYING LIFE

We simply cannot enjoy life if we are not taking care of our health. Heartburn, headaches, low energy, aches and pains, and a host of common ailments that the majority of the population carry around with them as baggage, is not enjoying life.

True enjoyment comes from feeling and looking the best that you can feel and look so that you have no limits in setting goals, accomplishing them and celebrating your successes.

BEGINNERS RESOURCES

If you are new to your health journey and really do not know how to put your health first, or where to start, read my Beginners Guide to Healthy Living! I break it down into baby steps for newbs. 🙂

And if you need help grocery shopping for healthy food, read my article, How to Grocery Shop for Healthy Food. It really isn’t as complicated as you’d think.

If you have never been to a gym and are scared, worried, intimidated or don’t know what to expect, read, Beginners Guide to Weight Lifting and Gym Life.

So now that you’ve thoroughly thought through what matters to you today, what do you want tomorrow, five years from now, ten years from now?

What change are you going to make right now? What are you going to do to get uncomfortable starting right now?

Please feel free to comment below, contact me on social media and follow me here! Tell me what matters to you and how you are going to make your health a priority!

I love hearing from my readers. 🙂 I am on Facebook, Instagram, E-mail, Twitter, Pinterest and balance8life.

June 24, 2020August 31, 2020

Regularity is Overrated

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Regularity is seriously overrated . . .

Regular gas, regular food, regular life, and regular thoughts are just that. They are regular! Have you ever thought about the fact that maybe a little premium upgrade would do you some good?

When we say the word food, as is happening right now, I am sure you are thinking of things like apples, pie, pizza and peppers. Errr . . . You could be thinking about ice cream and coffee. Because, let’s face it, there are people that basically live on ice cream and coffee.

. . . I think.

Today I was reading about luxury cars and fuel. I read that, “Using regular gas in an engine that requires premium could void your warranty.”

Now I know I’m talking about food and our bodies here, so what does a car with premium gas have to do with it?

Well, I was thinking about how we care for our bodies. Some people are willing to pay the price for premium fuel for longevity of life, top notch health, a great physique and just an all around healthy lifestyle. Yet, there are others that prefer regular (even poor) fuel because it’s easier and less expensive, but they suffer greatly.

Sadly these folks don’t realize they are suffering because of the poor quality fuel they have been regularly pumping into the their premium tank. (Or tummies, whichever you want to call it.)

REGULAR OR PREMIUM MIND?

These last several months with everything going on, our mental fuel has been less than mediocre. I’d classify it as ice cream and coffee, or fries and candy bars, type of poor.

These things have been tedious on my mind and emotions, basically, ripping apart my soul and leaving it out to bleed. Okay, that was dramatic. But I don’t think that’s too far from the case for America right now. Her heart is bleeding, and it is taking bits out of our mental and emotional wellbeing.

How often do you think about the quality of fuel you fill your car with? Or do you prefer to save money with regular fuel? And how often do you think about paying for organic, fresh food? Or do you prefer to save time and grab something to go? And how often do you think about paying a little extra attention to reading a book of depth to fuel your mind? Or do you opt for laying back and swiping through social media, or watching TV?

BALANCE YOUR REGULARITY

Our health is not just the food we do (or do not) eat. It is a balance of internal, external and unseen fuels that our entire being needs, to purr like a Bugatti! Nobody is going to put any sort of cheap fuel in a Bugatti! They’d be out of their dang mind!

(No, this is not a Bugatti, I just liked this picture cause it’s cool, okay). :p

Most of us aren’t taught to change our own oil, tire, replace hoses, spark plugs, etc. Many of us are equally unlucky in the self care department. We aren’t taught how to properly take care of our bodies and minds. And, since we don’t know, we don’t teach our children. And the cycle goes around and around.

Good news is, we can break the cycle now!

Let’s get something straight. Regular is good for a regular mind in a regular person with regular emotions and regular work schedules, which lends to regular lunch breaks with regular food. And being regular is – okay. But do you really want to be . . . regular?

REGULAR MIND UPGRADE

Let’s take things to the next level. As we upgrade our bodies by improving our exercise regime and feed our bodies with premium (healthy) fuel (food) let’s take into account our minds.

It is so important to seriously look at what it is we are feeding our minds and
emotions.

Firstly, let’s look at info, because information is sort of a big deal.

Information . . .

How do we get it, where do we get it, when do we get it and what are we getting?

Social media and TV plays a huge part in the quality of mind’s health or likewise, the depth of its illness. It is the seed to which thoughts begin to form which then can generate all sorts of good and bad strong emotions.

There was a saying I read recently that I absolutely loved.

YOUR MIND IS A WEAPON. KEEP IT LOADED.

Last week, I talked about meditation, and how it can give us clarity in a time of unsettling world vibes. So right now, while we’re bombarded with all sorts of strong emotions through social media, TV, friends and family and coworkers, it is important to take a step away for clarity.

It is equally important to pay close attention to what you are taking in, processing and allowing to become part of you as a person.

SCIENTIFICALLY REGULAR

Our minds are just as important as our bodies. In fact, it is scientifically proven that our bodies are directly effected by our minds/thoughts.

In the past, modern medicine largely continued to treat the mind and body as two separate entities. But in the past 30 years, research into the link between health and emotions has made significant changes, observing that our minds and our personal health are in fact very interrelated.

“According to the mind–body or biopsychosocial paradigm, which supercedes the older biomedical model, there is no real division between mind and body because of networks of communication that exist between the brain and neurological, endocrine and immune systems,” said Oakley Ray, Professor Emeritus of Psychology, Psychiatry and Pharmacology at Vanderbilt University (Nashville, TN, USA). More on mind-body research can be found here.

REGULAR RESOURCES FOR PREMIUM MENTAL VIBES

I vibe off of positivity.

Don’t allow yourself to sit under a cloud for too long.

The longest I have sat under a dark cloud recently was when the coronavirus hit. Stunned, I was, as Yoda would say. I lost my job. The gym closed. The kids had to do school at home. We weren’t allowed out of our house. Some places still won’t let us in without wearing a dreaded mask. What on earth? That took me a minute to shake, I won’t lie.

When my mental state gets off balance, my body follows, and I physically, mentally, and emotionally just suck at life. (Errr, that’s what my mind likes to tell my self and then I just start to ride a little rabbit down a long dark hole).

So now I am going to give you some awesome positive vibes, okay?

NUMBER UNO

Ed Mylett.

I follow this guy all over my social media. I receive his e-mails, listen to his podcasts, get his texts, and read his book. This man is a powerhouse of personal motivation. His motto is #Maxout. And I am not kidding, he knows how to push you to literally max out your life! I appreciate him because he is humble, he is real, he is not showy at all, and somehow when I listen to his podcasts in the morning, I feel as though something in me just loaded my rocket into outer “I-can-do-this” space.

NUMBER DOS

Jen Sincero.

Read her books!

As she puts it, “If my broke @$$ can get rich, you can too.” And I am telling you what, her books are easy to read and so hysterically great. And it’s not all about getting rich monetarily, only. She talks about being rich as a human, in health, body, dreams, etc.

If you can’t handle a little language, don’t bother buying her books. But I will say that the few “bad words” she uses definitely won’t compare to the immense amount of self-love and motivational gems she has to offer an open mind.

NUMBER TRES

Nimai Delgado.

I have mentioned this man as someone to go to in Five Ways to Stay Fit at Home for motivation when working out at home. But his positive and motivational vibes run thick throughout his instagram feed.

NUMBER CUATRO

Zig Ziglar.

I have linked his instagram here because that’s what I appreciate. It fills my feed
with motivational quotes daily. But you can also go to ziglar.com if you are not on instagram.

NUMBER CINCO

Dope Lemon.

Everybody has their own taste of music.

I love Dope Lemon. Their music always just puts me in a great mood. But, music is really powerful.

If you're in a 
down place in 
life, don't 
listen to 
depressing music.

Try to find happy, powerfully uplifting music that puts some pep in your step and go clean house with it cranked.

NUMBER SEIS

Be a kid and get out the coloring book.

There’s nothing like coloring for some methodical quiet time. Listen to an Ed Mylett podcast, or an audio book, make some lavender chamomile tea and get in the zone.

Or not. I like to though.

NUMBER SIETE

Fill in the blanks.

What is it that makes you happy and puts your mind in a good place? Is it art? Is it nature? Hiking? Camping? The beach? A day trip? A cup of tea? Talking to a friend? Walking the cat? Petting the dog? I mean, I’ve seen cats on leashes . . .

NUMBER OCHO

Grateful journaling.

What are you grateful for? 
Right now, 
in this 
present moment?

“The simple habit of reflecting on what you’re grateful for can actually lead to a happier, more content life. All it takes is a few moments of your time and a gratitude journal to record your thoughts. Gratitude journals are not unlike the diary you kept as a teenager, but instead of writing random thoughts about your day, you write about the things you’re grateful for—big or small.” ~ A bit of Shutterfly knowledge

SUPPLEMENTS FOR BRAIN FUEL

Fatigue, the inability to focus, and the energy to sustain an entire day of good vibes can be harder for some more than others.

Don’t worry, I have the perfect things for that.

NAD – doubles sirtuin (a type of protein involved in regulating cellular processes including the aging and death of cells and their resistance to stress) activity in 24 hours. This particular little supplement increases focus, energy, mental clarity and also puts you in a good mood! Try it here!

AXIO – Is just flat out tasty, and I can’t seem to keep it in the house. My boyfriend and my kids are basically addicted. Axio takes a different approach to energy, especially formulated to give energy to your mind, not just your body. It is designed to deliver mental clarity, focus and concentration without jitters. There are decaf options that work great for kiddos! More here! 🙂

Take some time away from the craze of the world and chill.

How do you fix your vibes?

Please feel free to comment below, contact me on social media and follow me here! I love hearing from my readers. 🙂 I am on Facebook, Instagram, E-mail, Twitter, Pinterest and balance8life.

June 17, 2020October 14, 2020

Meditation for Beginners

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Meditation can be a deep subject, and I will touch on a little bit of that, but this article is all about taking advantage of being quiet and taking a break, solo.

There is a lot going on in our world right now. First it was COVID-19, now the BLM Movement and all that is going along with that.

It really doesn’t matter which side you’re on politically, emotionally, white, black, young, or old. All to this is emotionally tiresome.

Meditation as a break from social media

Right now, I am finding that social media and the news is extra exhausting. The information coming at me and the tension in the air is mentally and spiritually draining.

Quiet time can be cleansing for the soul. It can be an escape from the onslaught of negativity and confusion entering our minds through social media, the news, and conversations that are concentrated on one single subject.

Meditation can offload the overload

I personally have spent a good share of my time educating myself on what is going on in our world right now. I’ve gone as far back in history as the 1600’s, trying to understand where people are coming from. I enjoy learning new things about our history.

Debating and talking, listening and learning, can turn into major overload at times, and we need to offload in other ways than by feeding the chaos. What I mean by feeding the chaos is, we need to give others a break as well. Stay off of social media and the intense political subjects surrounding us.

Quiet time is the perfect outlet for brain overload rest.

Meditation can help sort the clutter

I have recognized that my mind has been cluttered with information. My soul is emotionally hyper. Not only have I had a more difficult time sleeping, but overall, I feel like my spirit is discontented.

Educating ones self and being privy to what is going on around us is important, but it is equally (or probably more) important to be sure that we feed our spiritual health, especially when things are extra intense around us.

Quiet time is almost like feeding the soul. It is the vitamin that can bring balance to our imbalanced and troubled minds.

Just as we went through the Coronavirus pandemic, we also now have a mentally draining pandemic of chaotic opinions and strong emotions.

Friends are “breaking up”, blocking and deleting each other on social media, and not speaking to one another, all because of heightened emotions and differing opinions.

Meditation empowers us

To stay healthy and strong during this Coronavirus pandemic, we need to eat things that strengthened our immune systems to fight off disease. Alongside that, it is now time to be careful how we take care of our spiritual and mental health. It’s time to build healthy walls of protection around our emotions and make room for mental clarity.

Just like we need the right foods to keep us healthy during the Coronavirus scare, we need to allow our minds a chance to power up. This happens when we allow our minds to rest.

Meditation as a new and old concept

Meditation is a new concept to a lot of people, and to others, very familiar. There are several different types and levels of meditation as well. It can be an extremely deep topic and can be discussed and picked apart for hours. It can also be deeply religious as well as not religious at all.

The oldest documented evidence of the practice of meditation are wall arts in the Indian subcontinent from approximately 5,000 to 3,500 BCE, and written evidence as far back as 1500 BCE.

Meditation is also mentioned in Psalms in the approximate year of 1063 BC.

Meditation has ancient roots, but it is also very popular in todays age. I know several people have a lot of hesitation when it comes to meditation and choose to steer far around the concept, but the people that I have spoken with that choose to omit meditation, I have found they do not know anything about it. They only feel like something is wrong with it.

Meditation and being educated

Before I go much further, I want to disclose that I am not a mindfulness teacher, and it is a good idea to thoroughly research the topic before you choose to go to a retreat, or participate in guided meditation.

For those of you who are wary of the concept, you are not wrong to proceed with caution. There have been studies that have shown negative effects of some types of meditation.

It is important, if you are going to truly dive deep into meditation, to do your research.

That being said, I want to clarify to you that when I speak about meditation, I am mostly referring to solo quiet time. Time away from the TV, from your phone, from noise, from social media, or whatever else it is that could be causing mental and emotional imbalance and turmoil.

There are a couple different types of meditation that I am going to point out here.

There is a Biblical meditation and a Buddhist meditation.

Biblical meditation engages the mind. Buddhist meditation can engage the mind but it can also empty the mind.

When you have time and if you are interested, read about the Eightfold Path and you will understand a little better, the path to mindfulness according to Theravada Buddhist.

Personally, I like to keep meditation simple and basic. Some people may not even technically consider my version of meditation, meditation. But – it is calming, I benefit from it, and I teach this to my children.

To me it is very important to take time to “meditate” or in other words, be quiet.

If you’re a beginner, or if you’re not wanting to dive deep into meditation, but do desire clarity and freedom from the clutter in your mind, look no further.

HOW TO MEDITATE

Just find a quiet place and sit or lay in a comfortable position. Close your eyes. Breathe. Focus your attention on something, whether that be your breathing, an image, a verse, a sound, a shape, a color, a positive thought, etc.

Meditation can last anywhere from 5 minutes to several hours. I prefer 5+ minutes.

Annnnd . . . That is it.

Here are three easy ways to add meditation to your day. These are my favorite ways to meditate.

Music

Meditating with music simply gives my mind a calming background of sound to focus on. I have had it be the element that literally evokes mental freedom.

Choose music that creates a mental image of wide open space, calming images, or offers the privilege to envision something bright, natural and happy.

The purpose of this is to remove yourself from the thoughts that are cluttering your mind. It is not to solve problems or figure them out, rather to go somewhere else altogether.

I prefer music with nature sounds, and especially water. I am not sure if it is because I am a Scorpio and water is my sign, or if it is simply because it is soothing to me. Whatever it is, water is the most calming sound for me.

Nature

If you can go into nature, do it. At first it feels wide open and possibly even uncomfortable, or it cold be the complete opposite. Nature provides the perfect space to be quiet while focusing on the sounds of wind, birds, and other natural elements to escape with.

Breathe in the fresh air. Consciously allow your shoulders and limbs to relax as if you are about to fall asleep. This is when you find the sounds of nature to focus on. It is okay to think. The key is to think about what you hear in the moment. And then, find something to be grateful for about what you hear. Keep it simple.

Shower

You don’t have to leave the house or plan out your time for a 10 minute shower. I live in the city, so going outside to meditate sometimes can be tricky.

I need clean, neat and comfortable places where I can be quiet in order to fully relax. My bathroom is very clean, and taking a warm bath or a shower is not only soothing, but a place in a moms world where escape and quiet is just going to happen.

I use my Bluetooth speaker for meditative music, and with the door locked, I am rarely bothered. I find this the simplest and easiest place for me to go if I need uninterrupted quiet time.

This might not be the ticket for everyone, but I am 5 feet tall so sitting in the shower is easy for me. If you can do this, close your eyes and reach out with your senses and listen. Feel the water and then just breathe.

It is not uncommon for my mind to start wandering around and focusing on my day ahead, but when this happens to you, it is important to train your mind to return to your focus point. If you’re in the shower and focusing on the sound of the water, imagine it is rain. Imagine a puddle of water and paint a picture of something soothing and peaceful in your mind to focus on. Go there every time your thoughts wander somewhere not so peaceful.

Meditation takes practice

It takes practice and patience to learn how to relax, redirect your thoughts, and focus on something simple.

If you are a Christian and Biblically meditating, find your comfortable place, your verse of choice and repeat the words until you begin to go further than the words alone. Feel them, sink into the verse with your being until you almost feel one with the word.

Meditating isn’t necessarily about emptying your mind. It can be. But for me it is a redirection of thoughts. It is making space to find something good to focus on. It is a place to go away from the troubles and permission to focus elsewhere.

After meditating, I often find that the “time out” from the clutter really clarifies a lot for me and I often feel less tense. I also find that I start to see other perspectives on my own without having to discuss things with others. I also realize that often times, there are a lot of things I once thought were important that are not at all, and I can throw those thoughts completely out and start from scratch.

I wish all of you a peaceful moment or two in your day! (Hopefully more than two!)

Please feel free to comment below, contact me on social media and follow me here! I love hearing from my readers. 🙂 I am on Facebook, Instagram, E-mail, Twitter, Pinterest and balance8life.

Definitely hit me up or email me and let’s chat!

October 16, 2019October 14, 2020

How to Be Real (Positive)

**Today I am trying real hard to be real (positive)! But it is a real struggle!**

The thought crossed my mind . . . “How does positive equal negative?”

Let me re-word that.

How is it possible for "positive" things to turn 
your in-ward thoughts negative?

This was a thought I had (and processed for some time) when I was laying lazily on my bed thinking negatively about my day. (I was on Instagram, just FYI). I thought that all I had focused on was (mostly) positive, so I was puzzled as to why I was feeling so negative!

**As I pondered this weird thought, I realized that I had attached the word “positive” onto things that weren’t. . . real.**

For example:

A girl with an airbrushed face, (or filter) in a professionally taken photo at just the right angle, wearing the perfect outfit, with a huge smile on her (perfect) face, writing, “positive vibes” in the sand. . . and I feel. . . inadequate!

Why? Because I suddenly feel like I need that face, that body, that outfit and that sand, to feel positive vibes! *You can fake gasp here*.

Sometimes when I read all these “positive” quotes, see pictures of perfect bodies, see other people’s positive encouragement on instagram, and read blogs about how positive of a life the blogger has, I start to wonder if it’s real and, “what’s wrong with me?”

But this is where positive and fake are friends but shouldn’t be. (Didn’t anybody teach positive how to choose friends wisely!?)

Positive thinking equals positive feelings and vibes and people dig that st**f! But. . .

. . .  positive has to stay real!

Your body and actions follow your mind and thoughts. Everything we truly ponder and think about somehow shows itself in our actions – on our face. There is a reason why they say that if you think it, it will be so.

If you say you can’t, you won’t. If you set your mind to something, you will find a way to do it. Say “I can do”, whatever it is you’re wanting to do, but how real were you about that “can do”? And when you “couldn’t”, did you stop? Or did you figure out another way to accomplish the “can do“?

I see this all the time with my kids. “I can’t get good grades”, and they don’t. Why? Because they don’t care, and don’t put forth the effort to study. It has nothing to do with what they can or can’t do. I took away some pretty important privileges and we’ll see how those grades change soon. (I’ll have to report back later, this is still happening as I write.) But it’s not about can or can’t here, it’s about where the mind is focused.

Here are a few tips on how to stay focused on the positive and keep it real!

1. BE REAL (POSITIVE)

Positive thinking has to be realistic. You can’t tell yourself you’re going to lose 50 pounds in three months when it took you 3 years to put it on. “I can lose 50lbs!” Is real positive! “I can lose 50lbs in 2 months!” is turning a positive thought and attitude into a quick negative when it doesn’t happen.

Be real with yourself when you see or read positive vibes in a perfect world. There’s no such thing as a perfect world, but there is such thing as positive thinking in an imperfect world! It really makes it a lot easier to deal with, trust me! It isn’t easy, but it is possible! (Tell yourself you can do this! *wink*)

2. ACT IT OUT

Positive thinking has to bleed into your actions. You have to act it, feel it, fake it till you make it. Allow your thoughts to seep into everything you do, and you will eventually feel it even when you didn’t to begin with.

3. TAP INTO YOUR P0WERS

Humans are power packed beings filled to the brim with strength. Mental, physical and spiritual strength. But, just like muscles, strength grows with practice, repetitive behavior, endurance and consistency.

Tap into your powers, the mind strength, and override old, negative habits of thinking you can’t! Then, once you say you can do, believe you can, then you start going on a scavenger hunt within the labyrinth of your mind to find the open doors and windows, channels and alleys, that are the “can do” freeways.

You are stronger than you think you are. We are all stronger than we give ourselves credit for.

It’s all about the focus and belief. You can’t half way do this.

4. FIND THE FIRE

If you can’t get motivated, find out what it is that will put fire under your donkey. It’ll buck and get mad, but it’ll move! Go with it!

5. SHARE

When I am having a bad day and I walk into Walmart (that’s enough to put anybody in a worser bad day) and some stranger smiles. . . I don’t mean one of those fake things. I mean one of those big, genuine, real deal smiles, it kinda does something to me! What about you?

Share a smile, give positive vibes even if you’re not feeling it in the moment, and watch out. Positive vibes actually start to be real!

If you have any positive vibes to share, I’m so down! Please send them my way anytime! I am on Facebook, Instagram, E-mail, Twitter, Pinterest and balance8life.

October 2, 2019October 23, 2019

8 Steps to Improve Your Quality of Sleep

Whether you’re going to catch some Z’s, crash, hit the hay, get some shut-eye, hit the sack, go nod off for a spell, snooze a bit, turn in, or . . . just catch forty winks, all you want, is just to sleep!

Whatever it is that you like to say when you are about to go to bed, it all means the same thing, and that thing often doesn’t happen for a lot of people, at least not in the way they want it to!

There are a lot of reasons some of us can’t fall asleep, or wake up in the middle of the night, unable to fall back to sleep. It can be a busy mind, medication, work, kids, stress, health, etc. But I’m going to give you just a few tips that I hope can help you improve your quality of sleep!

REGULARITY

As annoying or uncool as it may seem, our bodies are actually extremely responsive to habits and regularity. When these get all messed up, it throws off our circadian rhythm.

when we follow a regular schedule, our bodies become accustom to it and our quality of sleep tends to be much better.

In a Neuroscience and Biobehavioral review done by Zelinski El, he says, “Health problems can result from a disturbance to the circadian rhythm.”

The circadian rhythm is a natural, internal process that regulates the sleep-wake cycle and repeats roughly every 24 hours.

Although the circadian rhythm is built-in, it is adjusted to the local environment by external cues, which include light, temperature and redox (chemical reaction) cycles. This is why we are able to adjust when we start staying up later, working nights, travel, etc.

Symptoms of depression, high blood pressure, migraines, and other health issues and diseases, worsen, when our sleep cycle is interrupted. Even one night of missed sleep can create a prediabetic state in an otherwise healthy person.

CAFFEINE

It takes 4-6 hours for the body to metabolize caffeine, which is a stimulant that can disturb a good nights rest. Just 1 cup of coffee (even early in the day) can still effect quality sleep.

If you’ve decided to quit drinking caffeine altogether, it can take 2 weeks and up to 2 months of being off of caffeine, before the detox process is complete. During this phase, you may find it very difficult to sleep, even though you’re not consuming caffeine at all.

ALCOHOL

Initially, a drink helps most people fall right to sleep. But did you know that, even though you fall asleep quicker and sleep sounder right away, it actually reduces rapid eye movement (REM) sleep. And the more you drink before bed, the more pronounced these effects. REM sleep happens about 90 minutes after we fall asleep. REM sleep is when you dream. It is also the part of your sleep that strengthens your immune system. Deep sleep is “for your body” and REM sleep is “for your brain”.

Because alcohol messes up the natural sleep patterns in our bodies, the quality of sleep is compromised.

WATER

Dehydration causes your mouth and nasal passages to become dry, setting you up for sleep-disruptive snoring and a dry throat. A lack of water can also lead to night time leg cramps that can keep you awake.

On the flip side, drinking water too close to going to bed can keep you up at night visiting the bathroom. So be sure to get those 96oz out of the way, starting when you wake up, tapering off later on in the day so that you’re not super thirsty right before bedtime!

DIET

An investigation showed that a diet containing fresh fruits and vegetables, low saturated fat, and whole grains may be optimal for people wanting to improve sleep quality.

EXERCISE

Physical activity improves sleep quality and increases sleep duration. Exercise also reduces stress and tires you out, making sleep sweeter.

FRESH AIR

Fresh air can actually increase your immunity levels, preventing from a lot of common sicknesses, and of course if you’re well, you’re going to sleep much better. It can also reduces stress, and I don’t know about you, but stress makes my nights awful!

BE THANKFUL

A positive thought pattern promotes better sleep because your mind is more accustom to peace and gratitude. When we worry and focus on the negative things in life, sleep becomes harder to achieve because the mind is too busy worrying. Practice positive thinking and gratefulness before bedtime to put your mind in a worry-free state.

If you have any thoughts or questions, I’d love to hear them! Please reach out to me anytime! I am on Facebook, Instagram, E-mail, Twitter, Pinterest and balance8life.

June 26, 2019October 14, 2020

Get Fit Together Or Not

Did you decide that it’s time to get fit together? Or not . . .

Are you looking at your dude suddenly inspired to help him trim and slim back to the day he said “I do”?

Did you hear those wheels screeching and the rewind button just squeal in response and maybe even a roaring, “Oh no you didn’t!”

Thought so.

But if you’re like me and you are on a healthy kick and you suddenly want your man to join, it’s so difficult not to try, right?

What inspires you the most? Is it someone telling you that your attitude needs to change? Or is it someone that is always in a good mood and has a great attitude. Every. Day?

Positive thinking, positive living, and positive actions are a huge inspiration to those around us. It also starts a momentum for our own selves when we stay connected to our own positive energy. Our own need for change and need for improvement should inspire us to grow and in turn will inspire those around us.

Change takes time, especially the change of our health. It’s not easy for me to make a healthy decision when the one I love isn’t going after it with me. If I’m not focused on my personal need to change, sometimes I get upset and wrapped up in my partner’s lack of interest in changing in the same way and at the same time, as me.

Why do I want my partner to change? Of course we all want what is best for those we love. But going a little deeper, often times we want them to make the change with us to make it easier for us. It’s selfish at that point because we want him to carry us through the change to make it easier for us.

When someone else that we have to be with day in and day out isn’t onboard with what we think is better we tend to let that other person be our excuse for not changing. It makes it easier.

Well, his muffins are always in the pantry, (even though I eat most of them) so I can’t not eat them! It’s his fault!

If you want to change your man, you have to stop. Turn your focus back on your own journey to change, and let him come around in his own time.

(For help with how to do this change stuff, check out my article Six Steps to Setting Goals that Last) Prove to him that you are strong and capable at accomplishing difficult things on your very own.

Improving yourself also makes you more attractive physically, but I’m also talking about internally, too. The true happiness within you, the excitement of self-achievement, shines powerfully to those around us. Men appreciate a woman that can be her own person.

Respect him and praise him.

Men feel manly and powerful when their woman truly respects them. It gives them leverage and drive to prove they’re the man. If time passes and you’ve expressed that you wish he were in the boat rowing along with you, but he also recognizes your respect in not pushing it, he might just see how much fun you’re having in that boat and jump in to lead simply because he wants to prove to you that he can, just like you! If he’s competitive he might want to out row you, but that’s okay. Let him.

Appreciate him.

Truly. As he is. Shrek-like and all. Period.

Leave windows open and doors cracked.

I don’t mean actual doors and windows. I mean, entice him. Invite him with your actions, not your words.

Leave a tail of crumbs behind you.

Figuratively, again. Leave good food out. Keep bottled water in the fridge. Bake healthy meals. Leave your gym shoes at the door. Leave reminders all over the place; reminders of your new change, and leave happiness out there for grabs, too. The enjoyment within you and your own accomplishments and your change, will give him little “crumbs” to taste for himself. If he likes it, don’t be surprised if he comes back for more than just a crumb.

Wow him with your changes by not quitting when the going gets tough.

Choose your talk time and words wisely.

When you do talk to him about your wishes, remind yourself why. Is it truly for his best interest and health, or is it just because you don’t want to do it alone? Leave judgment at the door, in the trashcan with the banana peels. Kindness goes a long, long way.

If he’s all about it and in it with you 110% of the way, encourage and be supportive. And have fun!

Men are born to care for, lead, protect and provide shelter and safety for us women. When we allow space for them to take that role as they were meant to, and when they are ready to, we empower them.

So, next time you get on a healthy kick and decide that all drinks need to hit the highroad and there will only be water in the house and in the car and at the office and…

….DO IT FOR YOURSELF.

There’s always a time and place for change. Sometimes our time is a different time than Shrek’s.

So be patient.

If you have comments or questions on this topic, or anything else, reach out! I am on Facebook, Instagram, E-mail, Twitter, Pinterest and balance8life, so wherever you like to hang, you can reach me!